This week I take on God.
.
.
.
Well, the Godfather of Technical Typographical Terminology; your good friend and mine, Robert Bringhurst. Although I suppose I'm not really taking on Robbie B-R-double-j'zee; I'm going to take on his rather lengthy and exhaustive glossary of typographic terms. Ugh, I promise no more alliteration; it's just too much this early in the week.
Although I suppose you are curious as to why I have decided to write a whole post on a glossary of terms, terms you all know inside and out. Well, just as it's fun to ask someone whos never so much as looked at a pencil crayon to draw you a picture (or someone whos never held a drill to build you a deck) it's fun to listen to someone who knows nothing about typography to discuss terms with such little knowledge that it makes them sound like a bumbling idiot. The things I do for you people.
Now, in no particular order, here are a few of my favourites.
Aperture
I think it would have been better to name the openings in letters like C, S, and e the things which make the letters look like they have mouths (well, when you add little googly eyes to the top of the letters, anyways).
Bicameral
I like this word because it sounds like caramel. Bicaramel.
Crosshead
This is nothing like the 1980's board game.
Flush and Hung
This sounds a little ruder than it should. Kind of a combination of toilet humour and 90's Mark Wahlberg.
Gutter
Wow. You guys really like your insulting terms, don't you. Gutter. You couldn't just call it Spacie-space or Type'lers.
Kern
Oh, this word I know. I used to be a copywriter for an advertising agency and I had to Kern the hell out of my work. I'm no pro at it; I just did my job. Every time I say Kern, it reminds me of Kearney from The Simpsons.
Pica
What Pikachu says. Oh dear, that was punny. I'm sorry.
Slab Serif
Serifs are sort of like a family. Sans Serif is like the Mom, because she is tall and slim. Serif is like the Dad because...well...he has certain external extras on his body (if I ain't being too subtle). Slab Serif is like the spoiled son who eats too much McDonalds and is a little more than portly. Sort of like the fat children on Maury Povitch.
River
Do you ever look at a collection of rivers in a big piece of text and start to see pictures? Like Magic Eye? Is it just me? I think I may need to cut back on my permanent marker useage.
Thick Space / Thin Space
Depending on who you ask, this is the technical measurement between my skull and brain.
Widows and Orphans
Wow, again with the bleak terminology. Who looked at an errant word or a lonely line and thought "yeah...dead parents and/or spouse".
Showing posts with label Are you there Fonts? It's me The Mayor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Are you there Fonts? It's me The Mayor. Show all posts
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Are you there Fonts? It's me, The Mayor
Bonjour moppets! It's that time again, where we pull up a chair to the fire, put on our winter socks, snuggle up with a mug of hot vodka, and talk type. This week I have decided to touch on a subject that many of you are uncomfortable discussing. Now would be the time to send the kids to bed. Those of you with weak stomachs might want to turn away from the computer. Persons with heart issues or a history of stroke should consult their doctor before proceeding with the following article.
Are we good? Okay, this week we're talking about the design of, the reason for, and the horror that is
Oh dear, I seem to have vomited a little in my mouth. Which conveniently brings me to my next thought; why is it that Comic Sans causes us to much distress? I mean, it's only a typeface. It could be so much more repulsive, like popular pedestrian face Curlz (I abhor Curlz). But even Curlz doesn't have a website dedicated to how terrible it is.
That still doesn't explain why Comic Sans is considered one of the most repugnant faces. Since I am not an expert (clearly) I asked a few Graphic Designer friends; it turns out they dislike it for more reasons than simply it's hideous.
- It is overused. Now, you and I know that using Comic Sans says many things. I have no taste, for example, or I'm going blind. But to your average Joe Sixpack or Jane Box-of-Wine, Comic Sans says I need to make a price list for my small business/daycare/bar & grill with wacky crap on the walls, and I'm not going to use something boring like Times New Roman, gosh darn it!
- It isn't entirely readable. Well, that's one I'm going to call Shenanigans on. I think that setting an entire book in Comic Sans is a little much, but how difficult is it to read Comic Sans was forged in the bowels of Hell? Exactly.
- It is used in highly inappropriate ways. Wow, this is very true; there has been many a time I have received a job application or parole hearing notice set in Comic Sans, and it just seems so declasse. How many times have you seen this
or sadly, this
Oooh! The chills I get! So where do we go with it? We know that Graphic Designers don't use Comic Sans, and that it's the average idiot who keeps Comic Sans alive. Obviously we can't outright ban it; so how do you discourage people from using it? Are you fighting the losing fight?
I wish I had an answer, but I clearly don't. I mean, I still don't know much about anything (I've only been here for about a month. I know, I should start reading Robert Bringhurst. I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try). So what do you have to say about Comic Sans? You could leave your thoughts in the comments or you can send me an email and school me on Comic Sans and all things crappy. Send your thoughts to mayor.villatype@gmail.com. I'll consider it your Festivus present to me!
Are we good? Okay, this week we're talking about the design of, the reason for, and the horror that is
Oh dear, I seem to have vomited a little in my mouth. Which conveniently brings me to my next thought; why is it that Comic Sans causes us to much distress? I mean, it's only a typeface. It could be so much more repulsive, like popular pedestrian face Curlz (I abhor Curlz). But even Curlz doesn't have a website dedicated to how terrible it is.That still doesn't explain why Comic Sans is considered one of the most repugnant faces. Since I am not an expert (clearly) I asked a few Graphic Designer friends; it turns out they dislike it for more reasons than simply it's hideous.
- It is overused. Now, you and I know that using Comic Sans says many things. I have no taste, for example, or I'm going blind. But to your average Joe Sixpack or Jane Box-of-Wine, Comic Sans says I need to make a price list for my small business/daycare/bar & grill with wacky crap on the walls, and I'm not going to use something boring like Times New Roman, gosh darn it!
- It isn't entirely readable. Well, that's one I'm going to call Shenanigans on. I think that setting an entire book in Comic Sans is a little much, but how difficult is it to read Comic Sans was forged in the bowels of Hell? Exactly.
- It is used in highly inappropriate ways. Wow, this is very true; there has been many a time I have received a job application or parole hearing notice set in Comic Sans, and it just seems so declasse. How many times have you seen this
or sadly, this
Oooh! The chills I get! So where do we go with it? We know that Graphic Designers don't use Comic Sans, and that it's the average idiot who keeps Comic Sans alive. Obviously we can't outright ban it; so how do you discourage people from using it? Are you fighting the losing fight?
I wish I had an answer, but I clearly don't. I mean, I still don't know much about anything (I've only been here for about a month. I know, I should start reading Robert Bringhurst. I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try). So what do you have to say about Comic Sans? You could leave your thoughts in the comments or you can send me an email and school me on Comic Sans and all things crappy. Send your thoughts to mayor.villatype@gmail.com. I'll consider it your Festivus present to me!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Are you there Fonts? It’s me, The Mayor
Hello, Typeheads! I certainly hope you’ve all been well since my last post 2 weeks ago. I sincerely apologize for my absence, but I’m afraid I came down with a terrible cold. I know that being a little ill has nothing to do with my ability to type, but being ill makes my tabloid television increase exponentially, which severely limits my ability to type. So there you have it.
If you recall, there was a comment left by reader Jack Gordon asking if I would discuss the Antiqua-Fraktur Dispute. I would love to say that I knew what that was, but sadly I had to research it. Of course I am notoriously lazy, so where else did I go but Wikipedia. Can you believe that they actually have quite an extensive page on this topic? It surprised me quite a bit; I assumed that Wikipedia’s more lengthy pages were reserved for Battlestar Gallactica Episode Lists and Jonas Brothers trivia (did you know he oldest one’s name is Kevin? I blindly assumed he didn’t have a name, but now I know).
So this is what I have gathered on the topic of the Antiqua-Fractur Dispute:
- It was considered a Typographical Dispute. Apparently there is such a thing.
- The dispute was somewhat confined to 19th and 20th Century Germany, who at the time should have been spending less time arguing over type and more time watching out for disgruntled artists with silly moustaches. Hey-o! I’ll be here all week.
- From what I can tell, the main point that was argued in this dispute was that Fraktur was the more readable typeface. The article also states that Fractur was favoured by the Nazis. Then the Nazis thought it was “Jewish script” and they changed their tune; Antiqua now became the Nazis favourite. Then Hitler changed it back. I know, I know – nothing about the decisions made in early 20th Century Germany makes any sense.
- Did You Know?? Otto von Bismarck would refuse gifted German books that were printed in Antiqua typefaces. I, however, will never refuse a Bismarck (but that is because I love doughnuts).
In conclusion, I think the long and short of it is that the Antiqua-Fraktur Dispute is a case of Who Gives a Crap. Kidding! Typography disputes seem to really divide people. In my humble (and extremely un-educated) opinion, I don’t know which I prefer. While Antiqua reminds me of Grimm Brothers’ stories, it also seems sloppish to me (not a real word, but I’m keeping it). Meanwhile, Fraktur is fantastically German and reminds me of Beer, Chocolate, lederhosen, and dirndls (cute!). Sadly, it also reminds me of Nazis (erp…not cute).
So really, I need your help – which is better? Should there be a dispute over which is the ultimate German font? Is Antiqua the Comic Sans of the early 20th Century? Please let me know! Till next week, auf Wiedersehen.
If you recall, there was a comment left by reader Jack Gordon asking if I would discuss the Antiqua-Fraktur Dispute. I would love to say that I knew what that was, but sadly I had to research it. Of course I am notoriously lazy, so where else did I go but Wikipedia. Can you believe that they actually have quite an extensive page on this topic? It surprised me quite a bit; I assumed that Wikipedia’s more lengthy pages were reserved for Battlestar Gallactica Episode Lists and Jonas Brothers trivia (did you know he oldest one’s name is Kevin? I blindly assumed he didn’t have a name, but now I know).
So this is what I have gathered on the topic of the Antiqua-Fractur Dispute:
- It was considered a Typographical Dispute. Apparently there is such a thing. - The dispute was somewhat confined to 19th and 20th Century Germany, who at the time should have been spending less time arguing over type and more time watching out for disgruntled artists with silly moustaches. Hey-o! I’ll be here all week.
- From what I can tell, the main point that was argued in this dispute was that Fraktur was the more readable typeface. The article also states that Fractur was favoured by the Nazis. Then the Nazis thought it was “Jewish script” and they changed their tune; Antiqua now became the Nazis favourite. Then Hitler changed it back. I know, I know – nothing about the decisions made in early 20th Century Germany makes any sense.
- Did You Know?? Otto von Bismarck would refuse gifted German books that were printed in Antiqua typefaces. I, however, will never refuse a Bismarck (but that is because I love doughnuts).
In conclusion, I think the long and short of it is that the Antiqua-Fraktur Dispute is a case of Who Gives a Crap. Kidding! Typography disputes seem to really divide people. In my humble (and extremely un-educated) opinion, I don’t know which I prefer. While Antiqua reminds me of Grimm Brothers’ stories, it also seems sloppish to me (not a real word, but I’m keeping it). Meanwhile, Fraktur is fantastically German and reminds me of Beer, Chocolate, lederhosen, and dirndls (cute!). Sadly, it also reminds me of Nazis (erp…not cute).
So really, I need your help – which is better? Should there be a dispute over which is the ultimate German font? Is Antiqua the Comic Sans of the early 20th Century? Please let me know! Till next week, auf Wiedersehen.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Are you there Fonts? It's me, The Mayor
It has been brought to my attention, via several aggressive letters and threatening phone calls, that I, The Mayor, know nothing about Typography. I will let you sit on that for a second.
.
.
.
Sadly, I must agree with you; I really couldn't typeset my way out of a paper bag. Now might be a good time to clear up that I was adopted into the Villatype family for my ability to make jokes, and not for my very thin knowledge of graphic design (surprise, right?)
So after a brief tutorial on typography, found type, graphic design, and letters (yes, I said letters. Did you know there are 26 now? Neat!) I have learned the following:
FACT! Graphic Designers like to keep a wardrobe of clothing in the following colours: black. This has lead me to believe that you have also at one point in time purchased the 2 gallon bottle of Woolite Dark.
FACT! Instead of Christmas, Hanukah, or Festivus, you celebrate the annual holiday of Typecon. The 5-day-long event includes workshops, classes, lectures, but no feats of strength. I hear that you also partake in the Airing of Grievances, but it usually happens on the 5th night after several glasses of wine.
FACT! If you saw Massimo Vignelli on the street and he was about to step in a puddle, you would lay down your coat for him to step on. Coats over puddles may not be your thing, so you can choose to react in a different way, but it would probably be just as chivalrous.
FACT! If you wrote letters to Santa, you might ask for a letter scarf or a kerning hoodie. I would ask for a Nintendo Wii, but that's just because mine got stolen when my apartment was broken into. Actually, I might ask for a padlock. Or an apartment in a better neighborhood.
FACT! spd.org is not an online resource for the illegal (and, natch, inexpensive) purchase of Methamphetamine.
FACT! David Carson does not play Horatio Caine on CSI: Miami.
FACT! You have your own little Type-ish Wikipedia. I browsed around it a bit and noticed one major difference between TypoWiki and Wikipedia: little to no information on The Jonas Brothers. Jesus, TypoWiki, catch up!!
So there you have it! I now know 400% more about graphic design and type than I did last week. I am no where near an expert (clearly) but I can easily identify that CMYK refers to colours, and not washing instructions. I know how impressive that must be to you all, but they are some big steps in remembering for me (I have the memory of a goldfish). But I want to get better! Please send all your helpful hints, interesting type info, and graphic design knowledge to mayor.villatype@gmail.com, and help me help you. Like, you help me with knowing more, and I help you with jokes. I know, it was a terrible joke - a Jerry Maguire quote long past its expiration date? What was I thinking? Anyways, see you next week!
.
.
.
Sadly, I must agree with you; I really couldn't typeset my way out of a paper bag. Now might be a good time to clear up that I was adopted into the Villatype family for my ability to make jokes, and not for my very thin knowledge of graphic design (surprise, right?)
So after a brief tutorial on typography, found type, graphic design, and letters (yes, I said letters. Did you know there are 26 now? Neat!) I have learned the following:
FACT! Graphic Designers like to keep a wardrobe of clothing in the following colours: black. This has lead me to believe that you have also at one point in time purchased the 2 gallon bottle of Woolite Dark.
FACT! Instead of Christmas, Hanukah, or Festivus, you celebrate the annual holiday of Typecon. The 5-day-long event includes workshops, classes, lectures, but no feats of strength. I hear that you also partake in the Airing of Grievances, but it usually happens on the 5th night after several glasses of wine.
FACT! If you saw Massimo Vignelli on the street and he was about to step in a puddle, you would lay down your coat for him to step on. Coats over puddles may not be your thing, so you can choose to react in a different way, but it would probably be just as chivalrous.
FACT! If you wrote letters to Santa, you might ask for a letter scarf or a kerning hoodie. I would ask for a Nintendo Wii, but that's just because mine got stolen when my apartment was broken into. Actually, I might ask for a padlock. Or an apartment in a better neighborhood.
FACT! spd.org is not an online resource for the illegal (and, natch, inexpensive) purchase of Methamphetamine.
FACT! David Carson does not play Horatio Caine on CSI: Miami.
FACT! You have your own little Type-ish Wikipedia. I browsed around it a bit and noticed one major difference between TypoWiki and Wikipedia: little to no information on The Jonas Brothers. Jesus, TypoWiki, catch up!!
So there you have it! I now know 400% more about graphic design and type than I did last week. I am no where near an expert (clearly) but I can easily identify that CMYK refers to colours, and not washing instructions. I know how impressive that must be to you all, but they are some big steps in remembering for me (I have the memory of a goldfish). But I want to get better! Please send all your helpful hints, interesting type info, and graphic design knowledge to mayor.villatype@gmail.com, and help me help you. Like, you help me with knowing more, and I help you with jokes. I know, it was a terrible joke - a Jerry Maguire quote long past its expiration date? What was I thinking? Anyways, see you next week!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Are you there Fonts? It's me, The Mayor
Hello, friends of the Villatype family; I hope you had a salty, chocolatey week since I last spoke to you. I know I did, but that's because I ate chocolate-covered pretzels for lunch. I know, I know - if you wanted to talk about fatty snacks, you'd watch Paula Deen.
So what have I decided to blabber on about this week? Well, in honour of Halloween, I have decided to talk about my favourite spooky and creepy fonts! Now might be a good time to mention that I tried so hard to make a Type-and-Halloween related joke, but the best I could come up with was Trick-or-Type. Terrible, I know. Let's get onto the fonts before I embarrass myself even more.
I tried very hard to find which font this is, but I have no idea. Let's face it; I wasn't hired for my typeface knowledge. Regardless, I love the sort-of acroterium on the ends of the A, F, and Y. It's more of a typeface for a fairy tale than a haunted family. Ooh, did I just discover the biting satire behind the film? I know, it wasn't exactly hidden.
This is where we divide the readers; you are either an Addams Family fan or a Munsters fan. Personally, I love The Munsters; the sexual innuendo of The Addams Family was a little lost on a 7-year-old Mayor. I would like to think that The Munsters typeface is one of the first of its kind, but the sad fact is it had been used more than a decade earlier by Kustom Kulture. Damn you, Ed Roth!!
I could easily talk about The Misfits (the band with dudes, not the one from Jem) here. But I won't, because it is a tired, tired font. Instead, may I present you with a simple, yet very scary use of type instead? Cast your peepers on this album cover by A.R.E Weapons? Oooh, creepy!! This album was released in 2003 and I haven't seen a spookier album cover since. Wait - is it the use of Pazuzu's face that does it? Bah, I guess. Can you just give me this one?
Don't you wish you could go back to the glory days of The Nightmare Before Christmas? Back when it was a mid-90s movie for children instead of the uniform for overweight pre-teen goth girls? Such a shame. Anyways, do you think this typeface would be as effective if it were applied to Fluffy Kitty and the Epic Journey to Snuggle Island? The answer is no, because that is not a real movie, you goof. But do you know what I love the most about this? That someone actually created a typeface that works for both Halloween and Christmas (sorry Hanukkah. You'll always have Caslon Titling).
OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE SCARIEST ONE OF ALL!! Sweet Christ, bring back the image of Pazuzu!
So what have I decided to blabber on about this week? Well, in honour of Halloween, I have decided to talk about my favourite spooky and creepy fonts! Now might be a good time to mention that I tried so hard to make a Type-and-Halloween related joke, but the best I could come up with was Trick-or-Type. Terrible, I know. Let's get onto the fonts before I embarrass myself even more.
I tried very hard to find which font this is, but I have no idea. Let's face it; I wasn't hired for my typeface knowledge. Regardless, I love the sort-of acroterium on the ends of the A, F, and Y. It's more of a typeface for a fairy tale than a haunted family. Ooh, did I just discover the biting satire behind the film? I know, it wasn't exactly hidden. 
This is where we divide the readers; you are either an Addams Family fan or a Munsters fan. Personally, I love The Munsters; the sexual innuendo of The Addams Family was a little lost on a 7-year-old Mayor. I would like to think that The Munsters typeface is one of the first of its kind, but the sad fact is it had been used more than a decade earlier by Kustom Kulture. Damn you, Ed Roth!!
I could easily talk about The Misfits (the band with dudes, not the one from Jem) here. But I won't, because it is a tired, tired font. Instead, may I present you with a simple, yet very scary use of type instead? Cast your peepers on this album cover by A.R.E Weapons? Oooh, creepy!! This album was released in 2003 and I haven't seen a spookier album cover since. Wait - is it the use of Pazuzu's face that does it? Bah, I guess. Can you just give me this one?
Don't you wish you could go back to the glory days of The Nightmare Before Christmas? Back when it was a mid-90s movie for children instead of the uniform for overweight pre-teen goth girls? Such a shame. Anyways, do you think this typeface would be as effective if it were applied to Fluffy Kitty and the Epic Journey to Snuggle Island? The answer is no, because that is not a real movie, you goof. But do you know what I love the most about this? That someone actually created a typeface that works for both Halloween and Christmas (sorry Hanukkah. You'll always have Caslon Titling).
OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE SCARIEST ONE OF ALL!! Sweet Christ, bring back the image of Pazuzu!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Are you there Fonts? It's me, The Mayor
Hello friends! Welcome to Villatype’s first installment of Are you there Fonts? It's Me, The Mayor. Each week I’ll invite you to pull up a crunchy graham-cracker chair and join me by the fire for some marshmallow-y font facts and creamy typography trivia. Now might be a good time to mention that I am obviously getting paid in s’mores. Moving on! Let’s celebrate my Inauguration to the Villatype family with some Fun Facts, shall we?
Fact! The first slugs were not made of lead, but of candy, and were used as currency by Gypsies.
Most people have been misinformed that Goudy Old Style was created by Frederic W Goudy. Not true! The credit should be given to four-time US Open winner John McEnroe.
Comic Sans is a cure for nausea. That’s what we call a Catch-22!
I hear Eric Gill is dating his dog again. The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel's Halloween party. They've been inseparable ever since.
Did you know Johannes Gutenberg developed the printing press solely to reproduce pictures of kittens?
The Umlaut is the Poodle of the typographic world.
Fact! Every time Angelina Jolie gives birth to a child, a new font is created in her honour.
Most typographers are Dyslexic and/or Communist sympathizers.
The original name for Baskerville was Bacon Cheddar Curly Fries. Absolutely true!
That’s it for this week! I don’t want you getting too smart and stealing my thunder at the next party the two of us attend together, so you’ll have to wait till next week for more amazing verbal garbage from yours truly.
Now where’s my s’mores?
Fact! The first slugs were not made of lead, but of candy, and were used as currency by Gypsies.
Most people have been misinformed that Goudy Old Style was created by Frederic W Goudy. Not true! The credit should be given to four-time US Open winner John McEnroe.
Comic Sans is a cure for nausea. That’s what we call a Catch-22!
I hear Eric Gill is dating his dog again. The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel's Halloween party. They've been inseparable ever since.
Did you know Johannes Gutenberg developed the printing press solely to reproduce pictures of kittens?
The Umlaut is the Poodle of the typographic world.
Fact! Every time Angelina Jolie gives birth to a child, a new font is created in her honour.
Most typographers are Dyslexic and/or Communist sympathizers.
The original name for Baskerville was Bacon Cheddar Curly Fries. Absolutely true!
That’s it for this week! I don’t want you getting too smart and stealing my thunder at the next party the two of us attend together, so you’ll have to wait till next week for more amazing verbal garbage from yours truly.
Now where’s my s’mores?
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